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How to Deal with Difficult People

By Dr. Phil Spears

Let’s face it: life would be a whole lot easier if everyone behaved the way we expect them to. But guess what? That’s not how people work. The truth is, you're going to run into difficult people—at work, at home, online, in line at the grocery store—and the way you handle them can make or break your peace of mind.

So, how do you deal with them without losing your cool—or your dignity?

Here’s the Dr. Phil Spears way.

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1. Recognize What You're Dealing With

You can't solve a problem until you name it. There are all kinds of difficult people: the chronic complainers, the drama magnets, the manipulators, the narcissists, the passive-aggressives—you get the picture.

Ask yourself:

• Is this person always like this, or are they just having a bad day?

• Am I dealing with a personality trait or a situational stressor?

Understanding what you're up against helps you strategize, not personalize.

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2. Set Boundaries Like Your Sanity Depends On It—Because It Does

You teach people how to treat you. If someone is draining your energy, walking all over you, or making your life miserable, it’s time to set some firm boundaries.

Say it calmly but clearly:

“I’m not okay with being spoken to like that.”
“We can continue this conversation when you’re ready to be respectful.”

And then, stick to it. Boundaries aren’t suggestions—they’re requirements.

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3. Don’t Engage in the Chaos

Difficult people thrive on reaction. They love pulling you into their storm—don't take the bait. Responding emotionally only fuels the fire.

Stay calm. Stay grounded. If they raise their voice, lower yours. If they escalate, you de-escalate.

Sometimes the most powerful response is no response at all.

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4. Use the Power of the Pause

Before you clap back with something you’ll regret, take a beat. Breathe. Think. Ask yourself:

• Is this worth the fight?

• What outcome do I want here?

Not every hill is worth dying on. Learn to pause, and you’ll learn to control the narrative.

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5. Don’t Take It Personally—Even When It Feels Personal

What people say and do is a reflection of their reality, not yours. Their anger, their bitterness, their manipulation—that’s their baggage, not your burden.

Let their words roll off you like water off a duck's back. You don’t need to pick up what they’re putting down.

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6. Protect Your Energy

If someone consistently brings negativity, you have every right to limit your exposure. That includes toxic family members, co-workers, or so-called friends.

You are not obligated to keep toxic people in your life just because of guilt, tradition, or history. Love them from a distance—or not at all.

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7. Know When to Walk Away

Sometimes, the healthiest move is to step away entirely. You can’t fix people who don’t want to be fixed. You’re not responsible for changing them. You are responsible for protecting your peace.

Cutting ties isn't weakness. It’s wisdom.

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Final Thoughts

Difficult people aren’t going anywhere. But how you deal with them? That’s fully in your control.

Remember:

• You are not their punching bag.

• You are not their therapist.

• You are not their scapegoat.

You are a person with worth, with boundaries, and with the power to choose peace over chaos—every single time.

Stay strong. Stay sharp.

—
Dr. Phil Spears
Tough love. Real talk. No drama.

connect with us at  www.drphilspears.com